Start Dating site stories

Dating site stories

• I can’t even begin to rehash the details, but the guy drove a Cougar as if it were a Ferrari, had a facial twitch that I’m pretty sure can be seen from space, had favorite hobbies along the lines of watching History channel documentaries, and disapproved of my eating of croutons in my salad. • I went on a date with an otherwise cute girl who wore a “Trogdor the Burninator” shirt and said at least one 4chan meme to me, unprompted, out loud. Girl randomly started replying and cursing at my tweets.

Like, she would scoop dough out of a roll, pound it into a little ball, and then put it back in the basket! Did you ever see that movie ‘Conspirators of Pleasure,’ with the woman who fetishizes bread and snorts dough balls?

She would then fill the little remaining crust-boat with olive oil, take a bite from it, and refill it. It reminded me of that, which might say more about me as lousy digital dater than her.

• We agreed to meet at a bar even though he didn’t drink (when I asked if he went to meetings instead, he was silent).

But the manatee was actually dead, and the body ended up falling apart and she was covered in dead manatee slime and someone had to fish her out and clean her up.